I haven't written in a long time and an outdated blog is a pet peeve of mine, but it's just the way it goes sometimes. My mind doesn't always let the posts flow as freely as I would like. However, our puppy, Daisy, inspired this latest post and it just got published on The Mighty. Stability walked into my life on four legs — in the form of a sweet, lovable and energetic puppy named Daisy. Before we got Daisy, I was experiencing increased levels of anxiety and just more mood f

That all too familiar feeling creeps back in. After having a brief reprieve, it returns to try to sink its teeth into my soul once more. It’s heaviness. It’s slowness. It’s fatigue. It’s numbness. It’s nothingness. People typically associate depression with sadness, but sometimes it’s just the absence of feeling. It’s merely existing instead of living. I am a shell of myself; here but empty - simply on autopilot. There is not one reason why I “should” feel this way. But it’s

I recently read an article “When Smiling Hurts: 10 Reasons People with Depression Feign Happiness” and it definitely resonated with me. The reasons they mention for why people fake happiness are: Feeling they may be letting others down if they aren’t doing well Not wanting to alarm or cause others to worry about him/her Fearing disclosure of depression conveys weakness, personal flaw, or vulnerability Feeling if they act the part of “being happy” they will be happy Feeling li

The last few months have been like a rollercoaster. Even though things are going well in life, I haven't necessarily felt well. There is no explanation for feeling unwell and it's extremely frustrating. This poem is the best way I can explain what it feels like. It’s a nagging feeling of unease. It’s a feeling of dread, without knowing why. It’s butterflies in my stomach. It’s a mind that can’t think. It’s the desire to accomplish so much. It’s the inability to do … anything.

This time of year I always take some time to reflect on the year; the good, the bad and the ugly. Although there were some hard things to deal with, 2018 was good to me overall. I decided early on this year that I was going to focus on my health. I wanted to lose weight and just feel better physically. Although I gave it my best shot with personal trainers, gym workouts and trying to eat better, I wasn't successful with weight loss. It turns out some of my medication could be