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Falling Back

We're almost into the fall season, which is the favorite for many people. As those closest to me know, I hate fall. I'm trying to repair our relationship, but we have a rocky history. What's so bad about this "perfect" season you may be wondering?

Well, first of all it's back-to-school season. Besides the new clothes and pens, there was absolutely nothing I liked about that time of year, especially when my birthday fell on the first day of school.

Next, it was always the time of year that my parents seemed to get sick and end up in the hospital. October was my dad's favorite month for that and it was usually Columbus Day weekend, just in time for a school break.

Then there was Halloween. Unlike most kids, I hated Halloween as a kid. I loved the candy, but knocking on a stranger's door and speaking to them made the little introvert inside of me squirm.

Ok, all of that stuff was during my childhood and I should be ok with it by now. While I have tried to incorporate fun things into the season as an adult, there is still this anxious feeling looming inside that starts to appear at the end of August every year and I have been trying to figure out why. I have come up with a theory -- the stress of change.

As a kid I dealt with the stress of a new grade at school and the unknown related to my parents' health, but as an adult I am still dealing with change during this season. This year, our son started preschool. While I'm so excited for him to embark on this new adventure, it comes with a whole new routine and schedule for both of us, as well as a twinge of sadness when I think about my little boy growing up so quick! Another big change is the daylight hours get shorter. This is huge for people with mood disorders. Less daylight means it's easier to slip into a depression. On top of all of these things, my daily routines and self-care habits get thrown off with the holidays.

So, when it comes down to it, I think in my mind I worry I'm going to fall back into a depression due to the stress and change associated with this season. I'll take the leaves, lattes and leggings, but I'll try to keep the stress to a minimum. Let's see how I do.

#seasons #coping

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