It happened slowly, over the span of 4 years. Little by little my sparkle faded. Nobody dulled it — I did it myself. Motherhood and depression changed my body over the last 4 years. The extra pounds that stubbornly sit around my midsection made me feel like I should hide, not stand out in any way.
I used to make sure my hair was perfect every day.
I used to apply makeup in an artistic colorful way
I used to wear earrings and necklaces EVERY day.
I used to love shopping for new clothes and shoes.
I used to wear nail polish.
I used to wear bright colors and sparkles.
I used to like the person in the mirror a lot more.
Instead of bright pinks and oranges, my closet is filled with black, dark blue and gray. Instead of wearing fun eye makeup, I slap on some eyeliner and mascara to look more awake. And shopping just became frustrating. Since these things disappeared gradually, I didn't notice that I was no longer the person I used to be. I was only a shell of myself.
Some may say I just grew up. Some may say those things weren't important anyway. But, to me they were. They made me feel good. They made me enjoy getting dressed and looking in the mirror wasn't so bad. They made me me!
As I sat in the hairdresser's chair and watched the person next to me get blue and green put in their hair, I figured why the heck can't I do that too? It was something I always wanted to do, so I made an appointment to get purple highlights put in mine. Although I was excited, I was nervous too because people would notice me. However, after it was finished, I felt great. I left with my head held high and promptly put on my dangly earrings. Now I just have to add some colorful clothes back in my wardrobe!
I might not weigh what I want and I might not love exactly how my clothes fit, but life is too short to hide. Bring on the sparkle!