Finding the right medication combination is a process and sometimes it sucks. I have spent the last 30+ days going through multiple medication adjustments; coming off of one, starting another, stopping due to side-effects, starting another new one and then ultimately adding the one back I was on to begin with.
The process is exhausting both mentally and physically. But, there is light at the end of the tunnel. As frustrating as it has been, I finally feel alive again. The new medication boosted my mood, but my anxiety was crippling me. After going back on a medication I had recently stopped, things are starting to calm down. You can almost hear my body let out a sigh as the anxiety starts to slip away. It's such a balancing act -- finding what will work for both mood and anxiety.
I feel like I have been through a major battle. My body is tired. My mind is too. Now it's time to recover.
No matter how many times I go through this process, it never gets easier. But I just remind myself that once I find the "magic" combination for now, it's all worth it.
If you're considering going on medication or facing a medication change, don't give up. Know you're not alone and remember that it is only temporary. You will feel good again and once you do, it will be better than you imagined.